Celebrities = Courtiers???

Hola, world. I've just been mopping my floor listening to "Tom Cruise Crazy" by Jonathan Coulton.

I've also been reading

 



 

Anyway, I was thinking, "What if celebrities are modern day courtiers???" Let me submit my evidence. Back in the dizzle, courtiers were supposed to keep the king entertained... in every way. And as an aside, HenryVIII was a HOUND DOG. WHOA! But they put on plays and charades and masques and played cards and were a source of  G O S S I P. So then I was thinking about Tom Cruise because that song is ah-mazing, and it starts with "Tom Cruise is so in love with Katie". Except the thing is, he's not. But it's still there. And we all dig the scandal and eat it up via Us Weekly and People. But they only have jobs to entertain us. I mean, sure they get paid WAAAYYY more $$$ than me, but without me, they'd not be them. Right? So by my thinking then, I am the modern day equivalent of a Kingslashqueen. Hmm... What the french, toast? Where are my untold millions and ability to boss everyone around? Why don't I have an amazing coat made of the fur of baby seals or something. I don't even think baby seals have fur, but I'm kingslashqueen so it's irrelevant! I think I just turned into Cruella DeVil... Eek.

 

Cruella Out!