So here's the deal loyal subjects, I am but human. I know! I was as surprised as you are, but it seems there are definite limitations on the amount of amazing crap I can do at one time. Personally, I think this is bollocks, but it's also the way it is. It also seems that I come to this realization frequently.
When I had my first baby, I was reading all these parenting books and magazines and believed them when they said that you should never give your child Juicy Juice and hot dogs. It's like Pop Rocks and Coke apparently. But, I totally drank the Kool Aid. I was going to use adorable cloth diapers, I was going to only feed him organic produce, he would listen to Mozart, I would breast feed until, I dunno, kindergarten. Basically whatever the books said was best was what I was going to do.
To understand the severity of this situation, you must understand that I am banned from watching Ace of Cakes or HGTV. After a mere hour of learning through osmosis, I am ready to tear down my wall, build up half of it, dry wall it, lay some tile, do some lighting, re-grout tile, make a lovely water feature for the new patio area I'm gonna build, and bake a cake with freaking power tools. It never turns out well. I can build furniture out of a box, but it stops there. Otherwise...
So, back to the child rearing, it totally didn't happen like that. I cried constantly for a week and the kid is lucky to be alive. Screw you organic produce. I got happy pills and the boy got formula, and we all got over it.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I'm gonna homeschool my two kids who drive me crazy, I'm gonna not eat any processed food, I'm gonna cook everything from scratch, I'm gonna keep a durn tidy household, I'm gonna be vegan, I'm gonna make all my body care product from like baking soda and coconut oil, and I'm gonna be the bestest writer the world has ever seen.
Seriously, there is an amount of awesome one person can be and when you exceed that, it's like nuclear meltdown. I freakin Chernobyl'd myself this morning. That like one extra thing, one little teeny tiny thing flipped me out. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm not damned amazing, I'm just saying, I'm going to specialize my amazing.
It takes approximately 12000 hours at something to be considered an expert. I'm an expert at freaking out. Maybe if I were like some sort of super being, I'd be alright, but really, have you ever seen a well adjusted super hero? Have you? Me either.
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