Small but insulting rant about turns of phrase. You've been warned.

There are a couple of way-too-widely used phrases that drive me BANANAS!!! OMG, like for real.

The first one is "just sayin'". I find it ironic that people use this as a suffix to the conversation. I feel that it would be more effective to just say something like, "Hey Sally, I'm gonna be an a--hole, but your pants make your butt look like pancakes. It's not flattering." or perhaps even, "This is going to border on making you cry, but I think you're dumb as a box of rocks." Seriously. This is a PREfix people, warn your poor conversationees. It is NOT better to ask conversational forgiveness than permission. Savvy?

The last one is quite prevalent in the professional world. I mean I realize that imagination isn't running rampant through the cubicle laden halls of some of these places, but still, must we always "touch base"? Seriously? What the eff game are we playing? Is it tag because eff that, I'm not running anywhere but away from you. If it's some manner of ball, be it kick or base, that's just bollocks. I'm not dressed for that. So I can only conclude that this is in fact a Life on Mars situation and I am unwittingly part of a fraking lunar landing and have "touched base" on the effing moon. What does the moon have to do with my performance report? GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

That being said, lots of people I know and love have fallen victim to saying these exact things, so I guess I should add, I love you, but just sayin'.