I have this bad habit of saying dumb crap to small people. It's actually really fun because they have no idea what a volcano sacrifice is or why Winston likes victory. It's nice to mess with their heads in a funny way. I'm not saying turn them into the freakin Waterboy, but it doesn't hurt to screw with them a bit. Reminds me of the "Messin' with Sasquatch" commercials for beef jerky... I just compared my life to dried meat... <.< ... >.> ... <.< ... Oh well.
Some of my favorite gems are drunkenly calling the little girl not taking turns a Fascist. I mean, it made complete sense. Everyone was supposed to get an equal share of the rocket, hence communism, thus the kid that wants to take it all basically invade the line, is a Fascist. Made 40 proof sense to me.
I've also called my son Winston as in Churchill for being so excited about his victory over the orcs... He was playing XBox. I believe it was something like, "Simmer down Winston, It's a video game, not the free world."
Then there was the time I told my kid I didn't care if her friends were sacrificing themselves to volcano gods... She just wouldn't stop talking about this and that and this and this other thing, and momma you know what, she likes this and this and you know what she did she did blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and she yadda yadda yadda.
Currently though, I was walking with some kids with great hair and the fuzzy one just kinda out of nowhere mumbles at me and I'm like "You don't like water?" He's all "yeah." So I'm all, "Maybe you have rabies." FACEPALM smh.
Why I do things???
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