You won't know until you have kids.
We've all heard it, thought it to be a big bunch of B.S. and were proven wrong. The thing is, they were always talking about love. "I love you so much. You won't know just how much I love you until you have kids of your own." Skepticism translates that as "You drive me completely bonkers, but I love you anyway. I'm waiting for the payback you'll get when you have kids of your own." I however, like to look at it in a different context. The context of food.
Let me set this up for you. It's dinner time, the kids have been completely nuts. Completely. You had to shake a giant wad of poop out of a pantleg today, for crying out loud. You have your vices to help you through. You try to make them family friendly, you know, so you don't become an alcoholic and have to enter a 12 step program, though the solitude of rehab makes you smile. No, no. Your vice is food. Junk food. Tater tots (God bless you, farmers of Idaho.), chips, that jar of M&M's (just one, you swear.), and most importantly, macaroni and cheese. The creamy yellow-orange goodness may not be your specific kryptonite, but you have one. Don't deny it. You know you do.
Now, let me ask you something? When you make this particular dish for your family, do you test it for poison? (wink wink nudge nudge) Just one bite turns into half of the pan. Or the tots just sort of come to life and jump out of the bag... I guess somebody will have to eat them. There are, after all, starving people in China (to be read in the voice of the mother from A Christmas Story). We've all been there.
But I've noticed something. The mac 'n' cheese is never as good once it reaches a plate. (Unless it's been left on a plate, but that's a different story.) It's far superior eaten out of the pan. With the big spoon. I don't really think there is anything magic about the vessel from which you recieve your food, I think it has more to do with perception. Sneaking a bite in the kitchen is dangerous. You could get caught. It's thrilling. You're riding a motorcycle 100 miles per hour down the highway in really sexy boots with the wind blowing through your perfectly groomed hair. Oh yeah, you're that dangerous. All because of the macaroni.
Scoff if you must, but when you spend your days with toddlers, you need all the thrills you can get. Diets be damned, it's always better out of the pan, with the big spoon.
