I was reading an article the other day about how a farm in Ireland was measuring the amount of methane gas in cows burps. They had the poor bovines rigged up with something that looked like headgear or one of those dreadful contraptions to stop snoring. The whole article was discussing the total amount of methane being leaked from one source or another, and its impact on the environment. It got me thinking, with all the methane leaked in my house, it should be labeled a health hazard.
I envy the countries whose customs dictate that belching after a meal is a sign that you enjoyed the food because at our house, it's just a sign that someones mother didn't teach him/her manners. Don't look at me. It's not my fault. They're kids. There is something in their biology that makes it so that they have to be as gross as humanly possible all. the. time. They don't even have to be in a gross situation. We could be sitting down watching cartoons and, "Poop!" Or at least a noise of the like, all kinds of indelicate things. And the longer they go on, the louder they get. That is not true to form. Farts get quieter as they go on, they lose steam if you will. Think of the little old woman tootling her way through the crowded aisle at Walmart right in front of you the. whole. way. She keeps it cool, she's classy, she doesn't rip them off, she keeps it on the downlow. Take a hint, kids.
It doesn't stop there though. If only it did, but they add butts and other private potty things into the mix, as all children do. I remember getting in trouble for the same things when I was younger. But I got in trouble too, and they're no better than me. Their little butts are getting in trouble too. I said butt. Queue uproarious laughter.
So I got thinking about all of these things and came up with the conclusion that kids are responsible for a large part of the ozone depletion. Well, kids and Mexican food... and probably me too.
